Discovering the Power of Being Over Doing: A Journey Towards Authentic Self-Validation
In our last exploration, we dove into the realms of internal versus external validation. This journey continues as we delve into how our never-ending pursuit of doing – of constantly being ‘busy’ – might actually be our quest for external validation, a bid to fill the voids within ourselves. Whether it’s the label of a provider, a caregiver, or a partner, society nudges us towards defining ourselves by our roles. But what truly matters is not what we do, but who we are.
Imagine a typical social gathering where “What do you do?” is often the icebreaker. This isn’t just small talk; it subtly reinforces our value being tethered to our societal roles. For many men, their identity as providers becomes their shield. For women, particularly mothers, their caregiving role becomes a badge of honor. However, what happens when these roles shift or disappear? The loss of a job or the empty nest syndrome can shake the very foundation of one’s self-view, revealing a deep-seated issue: our self-worth has been too reliant on external validation.
Yet, at the essence, we are not cherished for our roles or achievements but for our essence – who we truly are at our core. I recall attending a funeral where anecdotes of the deceased, rather than his achievements, painted a vivid picture of his life. It was his being, not his doing, that left an indelible mark on his loved ones. Such moments beg us to question: Why do we prioritize doing over being?
This quest for achievement is deeply ingrained from an early age, where our actions are monitored, rated, and compared, sewing the seeds of a future obsessed with achievement. However, embracing an ‘and’ paradigm, where being and doing synergize, allows for a more profound influence and greater accomplishments. Understanding this distinction is crucial in recognizing how prioritizing doing over being not only impacts us but society at large.
Acting from a need for external validation, as I did, leads to a never-ending cycle where our worth is dependent on others’ perceptions. On social strips like social media, this craving for validation becomes even more insidious, making us vulnerable to others’ judgments. However, realizing that validation is transient and often leaves us feeling lost and disconnected from our true selves is a turning point.
Shifting towards internal validation, where we act from a place of self-love and truth, fosters genuine connections and trust. By shedding self-judgment and embracing who we are, we become magnets for meaningful relationships and successes. This authenticity is our greatest asset, allowing us to connect deeply and achieve our desires more effectively.
In the end, it’s about honouring our being over our doing. By taking 100% responsibility for our lives and loving ourselves unconditionally, we pave the way for a life defined not by what we achieve, but by how authentically we live. Let’s embark on this journey to rediscovery, where being is the heart of our existence and the source of our true validation.
Why Wait to Start Your Journey
Learning to “Be” rather than “Do” is a powerful discovery. Work with me to help you travel the path to becoming your authentic self.
